iGAD Day 1: Drunken Robot Pornography

So! First blog out of… quite a few. Phew! I don’t know how I’m going to get through all of this – we’ll just have to wait and see, shan’t we?

My first blog post in the indie-Game-A-Day series concerns an alpha of a game which I was sent about a month ago by Dejobaan games, the charming gents responsible for AaAaAAAaAAAA!!! and 1… 2… 3… KICK IT! (Drop That Beat Like an Ugly Baby), amongst others. This game is, surprisingly enough (unless you read the title, of course, in which case you win a gold star), called Drunken Robot Pornography. Spoiler alert: it’s fun.

Drunken Robot Pornography, or DRP, takes place in the same universe as the AaAaAA!! games – a futuristic version of Boston, floating miles above the ground. This allows Dejobaan to do whatever they want with the art style, and they’ve really gone in a great direction with this game: the general aesthetic consists of lasers and chrome. It’s pretty freakin’ rad for someone like me, who definitely appreciates the finer points of laser-and-alcohol-fueled 3D bullet hell.

That brings me to my next point, which really should have been my first point, since I haven’t actually talked about what the game actually IS yet: DRP is a 3D bullet hell game, which is basically the best way to describe it, really. The gameplay, in the PAX build, consists of the player character, armed with only a laser gun and a jetpack, facing off against robotic “calendar girls” (also known as Titans), which are all bedecked with an amount of weaponry which can only be described as patently ridiculous. It seems a little unfair, actually – these robots have a bunch of little types of laser guns, and all you have is a piddly little one. In spite of this, the gameplay seems pretty balanced (though rough around the edges), and the Titan creation aspect of the game is intriguing – my copy of the game doesn’t include this.

“Oh my gosh, Damon, this game sounds amazing! Why isn’t DRP out yet?” you ask.

While DRP is fun, and that’s an undeniable fact, the game still needs a lot of polish before Dejobaan should even start thinking about fully releasing it. A sense of progression is basically nonexistent (apart from moving through Titans like a greatsword through a cheese wheel), and the general feel of the movement and aiming mechanics needs a serious workover. On the positive side, however, all of this stuff should be pretty simple to fix, and I’m certain that Drunken Robot Pornography will be awesome upon release. Here’s an excerpt from Dejobaan’s press release:

A massive, angry robot fires banks of lasers at an orphanage, slicing it apart to the horror of thousands of onlookers. You emerge from the wreckage on your jetpack, and blast at its weak points, breaking it apart like you’re dismembering a boiled lobster. The hobbled robot regards with you mournfully with a single, giant red eye before you fire the killing shot, sending the crowd into a frenzy. This gladiatorial event would make the great Caesar weep, had he lived in a floating arcology miles above Boston.


When you’re done playing the hero, use pieces of your opponent’s shattered body to fashion your own multistory monstrosities, and unleash them on other players. Start with a skeleton of titanium girders, then mount pulse cannons and shielding over hard points. Add actuators so your Titan can flex its arms or tentacles, and jets for locomotion. Pick your materials carefully — an aluminum finish may be pretty, but graphene armor will better withstand attack. Then choose between ethanol, methanol, and isopropanol to temper its personality.

I moustache you a *BZZT* *FLESHBAG DETECTED*

If all of this is implemented, I can see this being an extremely fun shooter – not to play only on your own, but as a “pass-the-controller-around” party game. Hell, if I had a few controllers, I’d invite friends around to play this too – it’s very fun in its current state. In fact, I actually got distracted from writing this blogpost with beating my own high score on the game (126,523 points, if you’re curious).

Anyway, that’s it for this first blogpost! I apologize if I’ve rambled a bit – it’s been a long day of gaming. Borderlands 2 is just so damn addictive, and the plethora of indie games I’ve got to munch through aren’t helping either. Oh, and since I’m going to make this a thing:

Verdict: Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Needs work, but as an alpha, shows a lot of promise.

P.S.: The health/jetpack meters would look much better on the bottom corners of the screen. Just sayin’.


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